Why dogs are better than women

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  1. the later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
  2. dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
  3. dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
  4. dogs are excited by rough play
  5. dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
  6. dogs understand that farts are funny
  7. dogs love red meat
  8. dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
  9. dogs don't shop
  10. if a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
  11. dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
  12. a dog's disposition stays the same all month long
  13. dogs never need to examine the relationship
  14. a dog's parents never visit
  15. dogs love long car trips
  16. dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
  17. dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs are made to be hunted
  18. dogs like beer
  19. dogs don't hate their bodies
  20. no dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & The Blowfish album
  21. no dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood
  22. dogs never criticize
  23. dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
  24. dogs never expect gifts
  25. it's legal to keep your dog chained up at your house
  26. dogs don't worry about germs
  27. dogs don't want to know about every other dog that you ever had
  28. dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer
  29. dogs don't let a magazine article guide their lives
  30. dogs would rather have a hamburger dinner than a lobster one
  31. you never have to wait for your dog. They are ready to go 24 hours a day
  32. dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry
  33. dogs don't borrow your shirts
  34. dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
  35. dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
  36. dogs can't talk
  37. dogs aren't catty
  38. dogs don't mind at all if you leave the toilet seat up
  39. dogs seldom outlive you
  40. dogs don't cry
  41. dogs love it when your friends come over
  42. dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
  43. dogs think you sing great
  44. a dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
  45. dogs don't expect you to call if you are running late
  46. anyone one can get a good-looking dog
  47. when a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it
  48. dogs don't make you watch Grease over and over again
  49. dogs don't have lunch with previous owners
  50. dogs never want foot rubs

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